Scene: A unnamed grocery store in Upper Northwest DC, empty shelves galore. Two middle-aged women with the kind of expensive blonde hair that covers gray stand in the dairy aisle, blocking traffic.
Woman #1: (conspiratorially and with glee) Oh if you need toilet paper, I have a *garage* full! I went to Costco.
Woman #2: Oh that’s all right. I have plenty. yesterday I went to (drops voice even lower, like she can’t even believe it herself) Wal-mart.