Morning routine

Dear internet,

We all get up and enjoy a delicious breakfast of toilet paper sandwiches with a Clorox wipe garnish. Il Bambino builds endless towers of paper towels and toilet paper. Then we glue ourselves into various chairs around the home to hypnotize ourselves with bad news on various news mediums–radio, tv, personal communication devices. We rend our clothes a little bit and tear at our hair, what little we have left at this point. Nobody conducts any form of personal hygiene except aimlessly wet wiping the door knob and the boxes from the grocery store because a newspaper article said maybe you can catch coronavirus from surfaces. Repeat the cycle until our lunch of toilet paper squares sauteed in a can of beans. Then we go online to buy even more toilet paper–maybe we need those jumbo sized roles like you find in public bathrooms?



Babbo wakes up first and makes coffee and toast and listens to the radio while il Bambino and I continue sleeping.

When il Bambino wakes up, Babbo takes her to the kitchen, where she gets to work supervising–opening cabinets, organizing cans, rifling through bags.

We all sit down for solids. Il Bambino eventually points meaningfully away from the breakfast table and hums the puffin rock theme. When we put her down, she runs over to the computer and opens it, but still can’t navigate to Netflix on her own. We are working on those fine motor skills.

We all go on our computers, occasionally reading the newspaper headlines out loud to each other.

Hear a cough outside the door. We all freeze.

Wonder if it is possible to go live on Puffin Rock with Oona and Baba. There don’t seem to be any real predators there.