What is your mask made out of?

Dear internet,

Man, people are having a field day with the mask decree. It turns out a lot of people have secret ambitions of being a policeman or something because everyone is just itching at the chance to jump on people for not following the rules. Everyone’s directing all their anxiety into being the Inquisition, readying the bonfires for the heretics.

Of course nobody is saying anything. They’re just looking at people like, “how dare you! you are the plague and the reason for this problem! because you:

  1. A. didn’t step into the street to avoid passing too closely on the sidewalk.
  2. B. are wearing a mask  but it is:
      1. made of medical grade material
      2. made of a child’s diaper
      3. made of a bra cup
      4. made of a coffee filter
      5. made of the lid of a Big Gulp
  3. C. aren’t wearing a mask but are wearing
    1. a scarf
    2. aggressive athleisure
    3. a bad attitude towards public health

On the other hand, we also now have people fake-coughing to clear the sidewalks.

It is now clear. We are the virus.