How did we get here?

Dear internet,

This has been one long year of staying at home, and it’s only June.

January started with the weird cold from hell. We spent the entire month so sick. Except fortunately not il bambino. She got better after a week and the pediatrician declared her illness “a weird virus of some sort. You know. Kids. They get sick.”

We on the other hand spent the month googling “is this symptom (not being able to breath so good/ getting winded walking to the car / coughing up blood) a sign of pneumonia?” Considering we’d only traveled to two, maybe three, coronavirus hotspots over the holidays, it probably wasn’t coronavirus. But we didn’t go to the doctor for ourselves. Because we’re not hypochondriacs. It was probably just “A weird virus of some sort. You know. People. They get sick.”*

Then February came. February was pretty chill, we were so glad not to be sick anymore. We did a lot of fun stuff on the weekends. I love DC in February. It is the best month. Nobody is around and the city is yours. Terrace dining all day every day. Even if I had to wear fingerless gloves and bundle up il bambino in a snowsuit. That’s how they do it in Helsinki, isn’t ?

Our biggest challenge in February was the quaint wmata custom of a half empty bus blowing past your stop like they don’t even see you. Sometimes the driver even waves like, “sorry was I supposed to stop? lol”

Then March rolled around. It was looking pretty good. But then woom boom, everything shut down. It escalated quickly. From “coronavirus is just a virus whatever if you don’t eat bats, you’re good. Being super racist also will protect you from this disease.”

But then people realized no matter how bigoted they were, they could get coronavirus.

So people did what they do best, which is freak out and buy up all the toilet paper and reasonably-priced pasta. And the cathedral heights giant became like the largest concentration of upper northwesterners with their grody reusable bags glaring at other people for just daring to breathe in their direction.  Like thank god there were so many lawyers in the building, because otherwise people would have thrown caution to the wind and started punching each other out, right there next to the national enquirers and 5 hour energies.

We all collectively sat at home from march to April to May just hoping we wouldn’t catch coronavirus. Except for all the very poor and working class people who had to go to work, mostly to ferry goods around to the hordes of upper northwest dc’ers hiding in their homes. Also the doctors, nurses and other medical professionals that were among the few who weren’t fired in a noble effort to save all those for-profit health care corporations (hospitals) several million dollars.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, then in June, there were riots. Vandalism and looting. and political protests.

So we still have to stay home, DC isn’t re-opening any time soon. And kramerbooks is leaving dupont circle.

your correspondent in washington, the district of columbia,


*Ironically my antibody test had to be rescheduled to a new location because of all the unrest downtown. what an unexpected plot twist.