Never on Facebook

Dear internet,

I don’t have Facebook. There were 4 stages to my Not Having Facebook.

  1. I thought Facebook was dumb when it came out. Everyone I knew who used it, was basically inventing bullshit about their lives. people spent a lot of time in the computer labs at school, trying to look good on Facebook, filling out surveys etc. 
  2. Then everyone had Facebook, but then there was a whole thing about employers looking up  everyone’s bullshit show, aka Facebook profiles. 
  3. Then truly everyone had Facebook–aka your parents and grandparents. Turns out boomers eat that Facebook show-off bullshit UP. 
  4. Then Facebook required proof of id and suddenly people were like OMG privacy invasion! Even though they’d be freely sharing all kinds of personal information with them for years and years. And then it turns out people could never delete their Facebook profiles. 

Will I ever get a Facebook account? probably not. I am not an Internet Bullshit Person.