Mouse problems

Dear internet,

well i got mouse problems.

i’ve tried two kinds of traps but neither works. One is a “safe” trap, suitable for children. It’s like a very well-secured guilltoine. . Apparently it’s also safe for mice. The other is a glue trap, but I don’t think my apartment’s mouse likes to eat glue.

I need a cat. I would definitely borrow a cat for a day or two, just to let the mice know, this is not a playground.

I will keep you posted.



Morning routine

Dear internet,

We all get up and enjoy a delicious breakfast of toilet paper sandwiches with a Clorox wipe garnish. Il Bambino builds endless towers of paper towels and toilet paper. Then we glue ourselves into various chairs around the home to hypnotize ourselves with bad news on various news mediums–radio, tv, personal communication devices. We rend our clothes a little bit and tear at our hair, what little we have left at this point. Nobody conducts any form of personal hygiene except aimlessly wet wiping the door knob and the boxes from the grocery store because a newspaper article said maybe you can catch coronavirus from surfaces. Repeat the cycle until our lunch of toilet paper squares sauteed in a can of beans. Then we go online to buy even more toilet paper–maybe we need those jumbo sized roles like you find in public bathrooms?



Babbo wakes up first and makes coffee and toast and listens to the radio while il Bambino and I continue sleeping.

When il Bambino wakes up, Babbo takes her to the kitchen, where she gets to work supervising–opening cabinets, organizing cans, rifling through bags.

We all sit down for solids. Il Bambino eventually points meaningfully away from the breakfast table and hums the puffin rock theme. When we put her down, she runs over to the computer and opens it, but still can’t navigate to Netflix on her own. We are working on those fine motor skills.

We all go on our computers, occasionally reading the newspaper headlines out loud to each other.

Hear a cough outside the door. We all freeze.

Wonder if it is possible to go live on Puffin Rock with Oona and Baba. There don’t seem to be any real predators there.



Metro station shutdowns for cleaning

Dear Internet,

So the mayor of DC shut down a bunch of Metro stations.

Metro to close 17 more stations, several entrances amid coronavirus rider drop

I guess this is good to help stop the spread of people who will then spread coronavirus. Supposedly this will also allow Metro to clean the stations which they should probably be doing at least once, maybe even twice, a decade. In honor of this event, let me share this photo of a Metro Rat I saw skipping merrily along the platform.

gallery place chinatown rat
You can’t see it, but there’s a mouse running along the left side of the lower waffle style vault



P.S. I was scared of hantavirus before it was cool.


Laundry rituals

Dear internet,

So I finally ventured downstairs to do laundry.

I was sort of worried there would be lots of people doing lots of laundry. But no. Just one other machine was occupied.*

I washed my four loads of laundry, trying not to let the laundry basket touch the floor. I know, it’s stupid. I probably can’t catch covid-19 from the floor. Still it felt important to not let the basket touch the floor, to not let a single sock drop, for fear I’d bring the plague back to my apartment, to il Bambino.

I pushed the elevator buttons with my elbow and washed my hands thoroughly. Little rituals to feel safe. Who even knows if they work?



*I know, if you are reading this from Europe, you are probably sucking in your teeth with shock at the concept of shared laundry. So unsanitary! So gross! How could anyone be expected to share the machine à  laver le linge?! But this is life in these United States.

Apartment Living in Coronavirusville

Dear internet,

So my apartment building has set forth a bunch of new rules to limit the spread of Covid-19.

We’re supposed to not use our hands to touch any surfaces such as door knobs, elevator buttons, etc.

Packages aren’t being held in the mail room downstairs—they’re being delivered to our doors, which I guess is more sanitary?

We’re not supposed to hang out in any common spaces. The lobby basically looks like a day room at a nursing home so this is Definitely A Good Idea.

No repairs or renovations, except for emergencies, whilst the pandemic rages on.

My building is full of very old people and very young people. I hope these measures help protect us from coronavirus.

Things that the building could also do:

-tell people to stop smoking indoors. folks, if secondhand marijuana smoke could save us from covid-19, though, you’d be national heroes.

-stop people from airbnb’ing their flats. should be obvious but…yeah. my building has an airbnb problem. looks like a hotel every weekend.

yours in community living,