Baby mullets

Dear internet,

Another quarantine milestone achieved: il Bambino’s first haircut. Babbo cut her hair, using nothing more than nerves of steel, a comb dipped in water, and our sharpest scissors. She sat on my lap watching puffin rock and was totally chill. Which is more than I can say for myself.

Her hair looks really good! He didn’t even watch a video first or anything. I’ve gotten so many haircuts but getting a haircut =/= knowing how to cut hair. No baby mullets for il Bambino.




Observations from my walk

Dear internet,


1. The most popular baseball hat in DC is the B hat. I assume the “B” is for Boston Red Sox.

2. Everyone’s wearing a mask.

3. Did not see any dogs wearing masks, though.

4. It’s almost peony season. If you want to know when it’s time to pick a peony for a bouquet, it’s when the bud feels like a jumbo marshmellow.

5. I’ve never seen a peony without a ton of ants crawling out of it, though.




Sometimes I get out

Dear internet,

Some random photos of the streets of DC on this rather overcast Sunday.

dc public works workers working
dc public works workers working
what are they building here?
What are they building here? + people wearing masks
waiting for starbucks in a socially distant way
waiting for starbucks in a socially distant way

Not a lot of people on the street, and lots and lots of masks.

DC looking pretty grim lately from a weather perspective. It’s supposed to rain all week.





Setting: A tiny apartment kitchen in Upper Northwest. An overflowing garbage bin blocks the entrance to the galley kitchen.

BABBO: (marvels) We have so much garbage. How do we have so much garbage?

ME: We cook all our meals and we never leave the apartment.

BABBO: Oh right.

Setting: The laundry room in a large apartment building.

A NEIGHBOR is trying to open a dryer.

NEIGHBOR: I just can’t open it!

She turns to ME, busy stuffing laundry into the washer.
NEIGHBOR: Do you think you can open it?
Me: I can try.
ME cautiously approaches the dryer. The NEIGHBOR steps back ten feet, distancing herself mightily from the machine. With a paper towel protecting my hand from covid-19, ME tugs on the handle several times. But it won’t budge.

NEIGHBOR: Oh well. Thanks for trying. I’ll call maintenance.

A MASKED PERSON enters the laundry room, wearing at least three layers of masks and three layers of gloves. No one reacts. The NEIGHBOR and ME exit, one taking the stairs and the other, the elevator.

the illusion of choice

Dear internet,

So we’re not supposed to leave our houses for the next two weeks.

I like working on logistics. Give me a travel itinerary and I will spend many happy hours trying to maximize efficiency. I love trying to find the best laser printer in terms of time/money. I enjoy tracking packages online and spend airline flights poring over the map portion of the in-flight magazine.


As a child I always wanted to be Very Well Prepared, so I read Hints with Heloise* and devoured articles with life tips like how to survive falling overboard on a boat with just your boots as a personal flotation device, or how to fix a toilet without calling the plumber. (Am I a logistics person or more of a MacGuyver at heart?)


You would think that the whole grocery store situation** would be thrilling for me. But, it is not. You can’t maximize efficiency when there are no controls and all the choices keep changing. It’s like going to a casino thinking you are going to make money.


Here are the choices:

  • Go to the grocery store exposing yourself and others to germs BUT you know what is on the shelves and can improvise if needed. No organic chicken breast? That’s fine, warm Spam sammies for all!


  • Wait a week for delivery. Almost impossible to get delivery and it involves setting a 3 am alarm to try to get a spot. Hope that when you do get your groceries they have what you want, because if they don’t, you will be down to dried beans and canned pineapple.


  • Go to the only grocery store that has same-day pick-up. Which sounds so convenient! Almost…too easy. Oh, I see that grocery store is right next to the mass Covid-19 testing center.


Which one will I choose? Which one would you choose?




*Until Hints from Heloise got crappy, when she started publishing “tips” like “Tupperware is a good way to store food. Make sure you put the lid on the container so the food doesn’t dry out!”


  • ** We are not supposed to leave the house at all for the next two weeks, not even to grocery shop, although the exact reason why seems somewhat unclear. Some people are like, “this will kill the virus in its tracks!” and others are like, “if you get sick this week, you will die.” I am not a hobby epidemiologist so I guess maybe everyone is right? But maybe they are wrong?

    safeway delivery truck on the map
    Watching the grocery truck make its deliveries is like tracking santa claus